145+ Bagel Jokes & Puns: You'll Lox These!

Looking for some hole-some humor? You’ve come to the right place! Whether you’re a bagel enthusiast or just someone who appreciates a good play on words, this collection of bagel-related jokes and puns will definitely rise to the occasion. From classic cream cheese wisecracks to everything bagel everything, we’ve got all the carb-loaded comedy you can handle!

🥯 Classic Bagel Puns

Every great bagel story has a hole in the middle! These timeless bagel puns are perfect for any breakfast conversation. They’re the foundation of bagel humor – just like how a properly boiled and baked bagel is the foundation of any respectable breakfast. Get ready for some classics that never go stale!

I don’t mean to brag-el, but I make the best breakfast sandwiches
Why did the bagel go to the doctor? It was feeling hole-y under the weather
What did the bagel say to its partner? We’re meant to bake together
The bagel comedian always gets a laugh because his jokes are well-rounded
What’s a bagel’s favorite kind of music? Jazz and Blues-berry
That bagel shop is so exclusive, they have a hole bouncer at the door
Why don’t bagels tell jokes? They always get a rise out of everyone
What did the bagel say when it won the race? I’m on a roll
The bagel baker’s business failed because he made too many hole decisions
My bagel delivery service is called Ring Around the Doughy

🧀 Cream Cheese Chronicles

When it comes to bagel toppings, cream cheese takes the spread! These smooth and creamy puns will spread joy faster than your favorite schmear at breakfast time. After all, what’s a bagel without its perfect creamy companion? Time to get cheesy with these dairy good jokes!

Why did the cream cheese go to therapy? It had too many schmear thoughts
The cream cheese was popular at parties because it knew how to spread joy
What did the bagel say to the cream cheese? You make my life butter better
I tried to date a cream cheese once, but it was too spread thin
That cream cheese was so fancy, it had upper crust friends
Why did the cream cheese get kicked out of class? It was being too schmear-y
The cream cheese started a band called The Spreading Dead
What’s cream cheese’s favorite sport? Spread-ding
My cream cheese went to college to get a spread-ucation
The cream cheese was a great detective because it could spread the truth

🐟 Lox of Laughs

Swimming in salmon puns! These fishy jokes are guaranteed to make you smile, or at least give you a taste of some upstream humor. Whether you’re a lox lover or just fishing for laughs, these puns will have you hooked faster than you can say “nova”!

Why did the lox arrive late? It was stuck in salmon traffic
The lox was a great comedian because it knew how to fish for laughs
What did the lox say to the bagel? You’re my sole mate
I tried to catch some lox, but they were being too koi
The salmon went to therapy because it had upstream issues
Why don’t lox tell jokes? They’re afraid of fish-ing for compliments
The lox was a great detective because it could scale any problem
What’s a lox’s favorite music? Salmon and Garfunkel
The lox started a business but it was gill-egal
Why did the lox go to the gym? To work on its muscle rolls

🌱 Everything Bagel Everything

Who doesn’t love an everything bagel? These puns are loaded with flavor, just like their namesake! Packed with seeds of humor and sprinkled with wit, these jokes cover everything you could want in bagel comedy – and then some!

Why was the everything bagel so popular? It had all the right seasonings
The everything bagel went to therapy because it had multiple seed-uality issues
What did the everything bagel say at graduation? I’ve got it all covered
The everything bagel was terrible at keeping secrets because it spilled all the seeds
Why did the everything bagel become a politician? It wanted to represent all sides
The everything bagel started a band called Poppy and the Seeds
What’s an everything bagel’s favorite movie? The Seasoning Games
The everything bagel was a great detective because it could cover everything
Why did the everything bagel get fired? It tried to do everything at once
The everything bagel went to college to study seeds of wisdom

🥪 Sandwich Situation

Time to stack up the humor! These sandwich-themed bagel puns are layered with flavor and stuffed with laughs. Just like a perfectly constructed bagel sandwich, these jokes have all the right ingredients to make you smile!

Why did the bagel sandwich go to the doctor? It was feeling stack-ed
The bagel sandwich was promoted because it knew how to layer its priorities
What did the sandwich say to the bagel? You make me feel whole wheat again
The bagel sandwich started a business called Stack Attack
Why did the sandwich break up with the bagel? It was too fillings-oriented
The bagel sandwich went to therapy because it had layers of issues
What’s a sandwich’s favorite sport? Stack-etball
The bagel sandwich was a great artist because it could stack imagination
Why did the sandwich join the circus? To become a stack-robat
The bagel sandwich became a philosopher because it understood layer meaning

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Fresh Bagel Puns & Jokes: The Second Serving!

Ready for another batch of freshly baked humor? Here are 50 more original bagel puns that will make your day a little butter… I mean, better!

🥯 Fresh From The Oven

These hot-and-ready puns just came out of our comedy kitchen! Each one is guaranteed to be fresher than yesterday’s bagels and twice as fun. Time to savor some new flavors of humor that’ll make you smile!

Why did the bagel go to art school? It wanted to learn about hole composition
The bagel became a therapist because it was good at solving circular problems
What did the bagel say at its wedding? “I donut want anyone else”
The bagel joined a band because it loved roll-ing stones
I asked the bagel about its workout routine, it said “I’m just trying to stay in shape“
The bagel became a mathematician because it loved studying hole numbers
What did the bagel say when it won the lottery? “My life just came full circle“
The bagel got into politics because it wanted to roll with the changes
Why was the bagel so good at debate? It could argue from all angles
The bagel started a philosophy club called “The Circle of Life“

🧂 Savory Situations

Time to spice things up with these zesty new puns! These savory jokes are seasoned with wit and toasted to perfection. Warning: may cause spontaneous snacking!

Why did the garlic bagel get sent home? It had strong opinions
The onion bagel couldn’t keep friends because it made everyone tear up
What did the salt bagel say to the pepper bagel? “You’re the seasoning of my life“
The sesame bagel started a dating app called “Open Sesame“
Why did the jalapeño bagel win the race? It had some spicy moves
The everything bagel went to therapy because of its seasoning disorder
What did the pretzel bagel say to its rival? “You’ve got me twisted“
The asiago bagel became a food critic because it had sharp taste
Why did the poppy seed bagel fail the drug test? It was just being seedy
The pumpernickel bagel started a dark comedy club called “Rye Humor“

🍞 Baking Blunders

Every baker has their mishaps, and these puns celebrate the funny side of bagel-making disasters! From burnt bottoms to lopsided loops, these jokes prove that even kitchen catastrophes can rise to the occasion!

Why did the bagel go to the gym? It wanted to work on its gluten strength
The overcooked bagel started a support group called “Burnt Out“
What did the underproofed bagel say? “I knead more time“
The misshapen bagel became a motivational speaker: “Perfect circles are overrated“
Why did the bagel fail cooking school? It couldn’t handle the proof pressure
The flat bagel became a pizza because it had circle identity issues
What did the bagel say in the sauna? “Is it just me or is it baking in here?“
The dense bagel became a bouncer because it was tough on the outside
Why did the bagel cross the kitchen? To prove it could roll with the punches
The bagel twins were identical except one was a little hole-ier than thou

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🍯 Sweet Talk

Who says bagels can’t be sweet? These sugar-coated puns prove that even breakfast food can have a dessert personality! Get ready for some honey-dripped humor!

The cinnamon raisin bagel wrote a romance novel called “Sweet Circles of Love“
Why did the blueberry bagel feel sad? It had the blues
The french toast bagel went to Paris to find its toast roots
What did the maple bagel say in Canada? “Eh-mazing“
The chocolate chip bagel became a comedian: “Life is sweet when you’re well-rounded“
Why did the honey wheat bagel start beekeeping? It wanted to be naturally sweet
The banana nut bagel joined a band called “Going Bananas“
What did the apple cinnamon bagel say to fall? “You’re my favorite season-ing“
The strawberry bagel became a life coach: “Berry good things come to those who wait“
The vanilla bagel started a dating profile: “Sweet but not plain“

🏪 Bagel Shop Banter

Every bagel shop has its stories, and these puns capture the daily drama of dough! From morning rushes to closing time chronicles, these jokes know how to work the crowd!

The bagel shop owner started a newsletter called “The Daily Hole“
Why did the bagel get promoted? It really knew how to rise to the occasion
The bagel delivery driver started a podcast: “Rolling in Dough“
What did the bagel say to the toaster? “You’re making me hot“
The bagel shop became famous for its “Hole in One” breakfast special
Why did the bagel join the circus? To perfect its “ring master” skills
The bagel food truck was called “Meals on Wheels“
What did the bagel say to the cream cheese? “Spread the word“
The bagel baker won awards for “Best Thing Since Sliced Bread“
The bagel shop’s motto: “We’re on a roll, and that’s how we roll“

More Fresh Bagel Puns: The Third Ring of Humor!

Hungry for more? You’re in luck! We’ve baked up another batch of completely fresh bagel puns that’ll keep you rolling with laughter. These are all new and different from our previous collections!

🥯 Bagel Life Lessons

Life is like a bagel – it comes full circle! These puns explore the philosophical side of our favorite breakfast bread, serving up wisdom with a side of wit.

The bagel guru started a meditation class called “Finding Your Center Hole“
Why did the bagel become a life coach? It knew how to keep things well-rounded
The bagel wrote a self-help book: “Hole New Perspective: Living Life in Circles“
What did the bagel therapist say? “Let’s get to the center of your issues“
The mindful bagel’s mantra was “Life comes full circle“
Why did the bagel start yoga? To work on its inner peace-za
The bagel philosopher’s favorite quote: “To be or not to be a roll“
What did the wise bagel teach? “Every circle has a silver lining“
The bagel monk lived by the principle of “Hole-istic living“
The bagel sage became famous for saying “Round and round we grow“

🎭 Bagel Entertainment

These bagels are ready for their close-up! From Hollywood to Broadway, these entertainment-themed puns are ready to steal the show.

The bagel actor’s breakthrough role was in “The Lord of the Rings“
Why did the bagel join Hollywood? It wanted to be a roll model
The bagel’s favorite TV show? “Game of Scones“
What did the bagel DJ call himself? “Spin Doctor“
The bagel wrote a hit song: “All About That Glaze“
Why did the bagel win an Oscar? Its performance was hole-heartedly amazing
The bagel’s favorite musical? “Les Miser-rolls“
What did the bagel critic write? “This show is bready good“
The bagel’s standup special was called “Circular Logic“
The bagel rockstar’s band name? “Bread Zeppelin“

🎮 Tech Bagels

Even bagels are going digital! These tech-savvy puns prove that even ancient bread can keep up with modern times.

The bagel programmer created an app called “Hole Loop“
Why did the bagel join Silicon Valley? It wanted to create a circular economy
The bagel’s startup pitch: “It’s like Uber, but for holes“
What did the bagel coder say? “Time to debug this batch“
The bagel’s social media handle was “@TheOriginalRingThing“
Why did the bagel become a developer? It excelled at circular logic
The bagel’s cryptocurrency: “BagelCoin: The Hole New Currency“
What was the bagel’s password hint? “Round and proud“
The bagel’s gaming username: “DonutMess_WithMe“
The bagel AI was trained on “roll models“

🏃 Sports Bagels

These athletic bagels are always ready to roll! From the gym to the field, these sporty puns are in it to win it.

The bagel athlete competed in “The Hunger Games“
Why did the bagel join the Olympics? It was a “roll model” athlete
The bagel’s favorite sport? “Ring toss“
What did the bagel coach say? “Let’s get this dough rolling“
The bagel’s workout routine: “Cross-fit Training in Circles“
Why did the bagel win the marathon? It had great “roll-stamina“
The bagel’s sports team: “The Rolling Doughs“
What was the bagel’s gym called? “Gluten’s Gym“
The bagel referee’s catch phrase: “That’s how we roll“
The bagel’s sports drink: “Hole-ectrolytes“

🎨 Artisan Bagels

These fancy bagels have elevated their game! From gourmet flavors to artistic endeavors, these puns are anything but plain.

The bagel artist’s masterpiece: “The Mona Lisa Roll“
Why did the bagel join art school? To study “hole composition“
The bagel’s fashion line: “Haute Coutour-dough“
What did the bagel sculptor say? “Life imitates carbs“
The bagel’s gallery show: “Circles of Influence“
Why did the bagel become a poet? It had a way with “flour words“
The bagel’s art movement: “Post-Impressionist Pastries“
What was the bagel’s design philosophy? “Form follows function, but taste is eternal“
The bagel’s exhibition: “Hole New World“
The bagel critic’s review: “A well-rounded performance“

Conclusion
Well, folks, that’s all the bagel puns we could roll out for now! Remember, sharing these jokes is the yeast you can do for your friends. They’re guaranteed to get a rise out of any crowd – unless they’re gluten-free! Feel free to spread these around like cream cheese on a fresh bagel, and remember: life is butter when you’re laughing together! 🥯

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